Software Programmer Joke

The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.

The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: “Can’t you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!”

The boy replies back: “Darling, I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings, we only worry about errors.”.

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Software Programmer Joke

The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.

The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: “Can’t you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!”

The boy replies back: “Darling, I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings, we only worry about errors.”.

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Funny Girls Searching Jokes

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

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Funny Doctor Patient Joke

Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What?! How about the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.

Ha ha ha ha .............!

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Funny Doctor Patient Joke

Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What?! How about the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.

Ha ha ha ha .............!

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Funny Marriage Anniversaries Joke

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years". "I remember that too", she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"

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Funny Marriage Anniversaries Joke

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years". "I remember that too", she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"

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Funny Husband and Wife Conversation

Wife : You had lunch? Husbnd: You had lunch? Wife: I'm asking you. Husband: I'm asking you. Wife: Are you copying me? Husband: Are you copying me? Wife: I love u. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Husband: I had Lunch :P

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Funny Husband and Wife Conversation

Wife : You had lunch? Husbnd: You had lunch? Wife: I'm asking you. Husband: I'm asking you. Wife: Are you copying me? Husband: Are you copying me? Wife: I love u. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Husband: I had Lunch :P

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Funny Wife Advice "Spouse Funny Advice"

Most Wives Give Their Husbands Sound Advice. “99% Sound, 1% Advice!

Husband and Wife Jokes

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Funny Wife Advice "Spouse Funny Advice"

Most Wives Give Their Husbands Sound Advice. “99% Sound, 1% Advice!

Husband and Wife Jokes

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Funny After Marriage Jokes

After Marriage Jokes After being married for 25 years a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly…then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H…. I, J, K.” She asks…… “What does that mean?”

He said, “Admirable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous, Honey.
She smiled happily and said….”Oh, that’s so lovely…..
What about I, J, K?”
He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”
Ha Hah ha ha ha ........!

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Funny After Marriage Jokes

After Marriage Jokes After being married for 25 years a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly…then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H…. I, J, K.” She asks…… “What does that mean?”

He said, “Admirable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous, Honey.
She smiled happily and said….”Oh, that’s so lovely…..
What about I, J, K?”
He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”
Ha Hah ha ha ha ........!

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Funny Question and Answers Jokes

Students Jokes

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: Fourth October.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

Ha ha ha ha ha.............!

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Funny Question and Answers Jokes

Students Jokes

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: Fourth October.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

Ha ha ha ha ha.............!

Wallpapers Collections Visit Here

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Husband and Wife Jokes

A man visited a marriage counsellor and said, “When we were first married, I wouldcome home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after 5 years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”

 ”Why complain?” said the counsellor. “You’re still getting the same service!”

My wife asked me to buy Organic vegetables from the market.I went and looked around and couldn’t find any.So I grabbed an old employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”“The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”

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Husband and Wife Jokes

A man visited a marriage counsellor and said, “When we were first married, I wouldcome home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after 5 years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”

 ”Why complain?” said the counsellor. “You’re still getting the same service!”

My wife asked me to buy Organic vegetables from the market.I went and looked around and couldn’t find any.So I grabbed an old employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”“The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”

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Funny Marriage Jokes

A man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. 

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife ‘ s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents.“When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and stich a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. “Honey,” he said “that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”“Oh, that?” she said. “That is the money I made from selling the dolls.” : )

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Funny Marriage Jokes

A man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. 

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife ‘ s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents.“When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and stich a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. “Honey,” he said “that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”“Oh, that?” she said. “That is the money I made from selling the dolls.” : )

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Funny Manager Jokes

<div style="text-align: left;">

1.”We will do it” means “<em>You will do it</em>”

2.”You have done a great job” means “<em>More work to be given to you</em>”

3.”We are working on it” means “<em>We have not yet started working on the same</em>”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “<em>Its not getting done“At least not tomorrow!</em>”

5.”After discussion we will decide -I am very open to views” means “<em>I have already decided, I will tell you what to do</em>”

6.”There was a slight mis communication” means “<em>We had actually lied</em>”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “<em>I have no time now, will talk later”</em>

8.”We can always do it” means “<em>We actually cannot do the same on time”</em>

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means <em>“The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”</em>

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means <em>“We had actually fought”</em>

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means <em>“Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means <em>“Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”</em>

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means <em>“Well I will tell you where your fault is”</em>

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, <em>“Work is the only priority</em>”

15.”We are a team,” means, <em>“I am not the only one to be blamed</em>”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means <em>“I do not know anything about it”</em>

17.”All the Best” means <strong>“<em>You are in trouble</em>”</strong></div>

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